Tag: listening to your four voices

  • The Four Voices: Uncovering the Conversations That Shape My Life

    The Four Voices: Uncovering the Conversations That Shape My Life

    Ever caught yourself thinking, “What’s wrong with me” or “I’m such a failure”? Yeah. Me, too. Then a chorus of doubt creeps in, constantly whispering thoughts that chip away at our confidence and second-guess our every move. Here’s the thing, though: that inner dialogue you’re experiencing? They’re not just random thoughts.

    Here’s what they are: the four distinct voices that shape our lives! 

    One fateful day, I crossed paths with this concept, and my perspective shifted dramatically – everything looks different now. I’m no longer in the dark about the whirlwind of thoughts, feelings, and needs that drives me; it’s like holding up a magnifying glass to my own mind.

    Get ready to meet the inner voices that whisper, shout, and sometimes whisper-shout directions in your ear – we’re about to uncover the constant conversations happening within. 

    The 4 Voices: Meet the Cast

    1. “You Are Who You Are” – The Unknown, the Curious, the Searcher

    This voice is the essence of our true selves. It’s the part of us that is curious, open, and authentic. The Unknown/Curious/Searcher is the voice that says, “I don’t know — what if? — why not? but I’m willing to learn and grow.”

    2. “You Are Who You ‘Think’ You Are” – The Liar

    This voice is the deceiver. This tendency of ours takes tremendous liberties with the truth, transforming facts into fantastical stories and silently persuading us to believe them – not just about others, but about our very own identities. The Liar is the voice that says, “You’re not good enough” or “You’re a failure.”

    3. “You Are Who Others Think You Are” – The Chameleon

    This voice is the people-pleaser. It’s the part of us that tries to fit in, tries to impress, and tries to gain approval from others. The Chameleon is the voice that says, “What do others think of me?” and “How can I make them happy?”

    4. “You Are Who You Think Others Think You Are” – The Decision Maker

    This voice is the conformist. It’s the part of us that makes decisions based on what we think others expect of us, rather than what we truly want. The Decision Maker is the voice that says, “What will others think if I do this?” and “Will they approve of me?”

    Why Do We Talk to Ourselves This Way?

    What is it about internal dialogues that makes us pour over every fear, worry, and doubt? It’s because our brains are wired to survive, and these four voices are just trying to keep us safe. The Unknown, Curious, and Searcher are trying to help us grow and learn, while the Liar, Chameleon, and Decision Maker are trying to protect us from rejection, failure, and discomfort.

    Hold up, let’s get real for a second these voices can either empower or disempower us, depending on how we choose to listen to them. Regaining control of our lives starts with a simple yet powerful act: acknowledging and understanding the conversations going on inside our heads.


    What happens when you stop sleepwalking through life? You wake up to a whole new level of consciousness. Suddenly, you’re not just reacting – you’re responding, making deliberate choices that reshape your reality.


    Uncovering these four voices within myself has brought me face to face with my deepest motivations and cravings. I’ve learned to recognize when the Liar is being too harsh, when the Chameleon is being too conformist, and when the Decision Maker is being too indecisive. And I’ve learned to listen more to the Unknown, Curious, and Searcher, trusting their wisdom and guidance.

    The Benefits of Embracing Your Four Voices 

    1. Increased self-awareness: Recognizing my four voices has helped me understand why I react to certain situations in a particular way.
    2. Improved relationships: By understanding the voices of others, I’ve become more empathetic and compassionate.
    3. Greater confidence: I’ve gained a ton of confidence in my abilities and decisions since I started tuning in to the whispers of the unknown, the murmurs of the curious, and the questions of the seeker.

    The Final Verdict

    Embracing my four voices has been a liberating experience. It’s like having a personal coach, a therapist, and a mentor all rolled into one. Paying attention to our internal chorus lets us shake off the chains of self-doubt, grab hold of our personal strengths, and build a life that’s fiercely, unapologetically ours.

    So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, “What’s wrong with me?”, just remember: it’s just one of your four voices trying to get your attention.